Molested by a Fruit Fly!

OK so I'm eating a danish of some kind, which is really not even my thing, I'm more into croissants or muffins, but anyway...
I bite down on the danish and gooey shit plops out the other side...THEN, this extremely rambunctious fruit fly presumes to sit his nasty ass right smack on top of my danish goo!!!
So I spit out the chewed danish, which pissed me off because I was like 2 seconds from swallowing w/e...and this bastard fruit fly flies up my damn nose!!
On top of being pissed off that this little prick had the audacity to try and choke me by flying up my nose, I now have to blow my nose, snot and all BTW, in front of like 3 weird strangers, who are now looking because I have danish goo sliding down my shirt in the front and snot dripping down into my mouth....AWESOME!
After he takes his sweet time up there he finally descends down and out of my nose...he probably had time to lay like 114,293 eggs, Ewww...
I rinsed my nose with so much alcohol that I nearly drowned...and I randomly still dunk my head underwater in the tub to sort of flush out the remaining larvae....
Soooo that was my day so far...yep, you had it easy!