Saturday, January 9, 2010

I Want to Be a Sexy Pre-Cog like my Lesbian Lover!

So today I think I'll sit in the mall and dish out "random" advice to strangers!
Do you remember the movie Minority Report? Well, Samantha Morton, whom I have an uncomfortable crush on, plays the PreCog Agatha. There was a scene in this movie where her and Tom Cruise are running through a mall and she's giving random strangers "don't go home, he knows"!
I thought this was sooooo awesome and so I have decided to replicate this scene in real life.
I'm wondering how long it will take before I get arrested thrown out.
I figure I can say things that aren't lewd but still
~ "That down pillow is why your nose runs every morning."
~ "She likes it when you flick your tongue."
~ "You actually wear a size 9 shoe, not 7."
~ " Go see your mom, trust me."
Wouldn't this be awesome? I think I'll choke on spit while pissing my pants with laughter before I get thrown out tho.
I'll let you know how it goes.


  1. I can't see you being a lesbian.Rug munching is not your thing. I'm sure you will find a chap who can satisfy your needs!

  2. Eh...the vagina is more gross than sexy in my opinion anyway!
    As far as being wear em out like a guy i want it all the time...i think that makes me a little hard to please! :-(
    one day day 'll find a guy that i can wake up to morning head at least twice a week! lol

  3. Hey guys don't want it all the time,they just think they do, until they find a woman like you and it frightens the shit out of them!It's great being older,you don't get asked very often and if you don't feel up to it you can claim a myriad number of reasons as to why the tackle isn't working!So what us old buggers do is focus on quality rather than quantity.Imagination is a wonderful thing,that young men don't have.We are also great at being able to dump a woman,in a way that she feels she has dumped you.Examples:'I want to make love tonight honey,hang on pet I'll just go and put my teeth in'.'In the words of Queen Elizabeth I, I will have a bath every six months whether I need it or not!'Farting is not a bodily function,it's a philosophy!'.Hey it's great fun being older, you can get away with murder!What a laugh!


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